As you can see, my blog got a sexy new makeover (thanks to the preset templates available on Blogger - no time to do my own designs). And with this new look, I have another new thing to bring to "Around the World in 3 Meals a Day"...my first negative review.
GASP!
The other day I came home to see a brown bag waiting for me on the counter. I quivered with anticipation as I pulled out something shaped like a toddler's thigh wrapped in deli paper. I peeled back the wrapper to find something that looked like a burrito but didn't smell like a burrito. The aroma had hints of soy and something pickled. My hands trembled with excitement as I realized what it was...a Kogi BBQ burrito! Despite my notoriety as a fatty, I've never had the opportunity to try the infamous Kogi BBQ truck. And thanks to my thoughtful sister, my day had come!!! I took my first bite...
How was it? Well, in order for you to understand my first impression, let's flashback to my senior prom. Thanks to all those damn John Hughes movies I had great expectations of it being the awesomest night of my life. I even got a dress custom-made by my mom's seamstress, a sapphire blue satin crepe evening gown with a sweetheart neckline and a mermaid silhouette. Hot but not slutty. I weighed 15 pounds less back then. I miss those days. Anyways, it all fell apart when my boyfriend asked another girl to the dance. I asked (or beg, it's all perspective) 10 guys to be my date until my dance partner in show choir (a sophomore) agreed to go with me. Then my ex ended up being in the same limo as me. Cue the avalanche. The whole time my ex's date was throwing daggers at me with her eyes the whole ride there. To top it all off, dinner was at Rainforest Cafe (a travesty in itself), and THEN my date ditched me 10 minutes in and I couldn't find him the rest of the night.
That is how my Kogi burrito tasted. Like my shitty prom night.
It wasn't terrible. At prom, I stuck it out through the whole thing, hoping that it would get better. I also had no choice, I rode in a limo with 9 other people. But I had the same attitude toward my Kogi burrito. I ate the whole thing, hoping that at some point my taste buds will realize yes, this IS the greatest burrito ever. But that never happened. Each bite was one disappointment after another. Just like prom. Over-hyped. Great expectations. Great disappointment.
Perhaps under the right circumstances, Kogi BBQ would be great. Like if you have the munchies. Or if you have been waiting in line for 3 hours to try this over-hyped concoction and you're rendered exhausted and starving. At that point even wasabi ice cream with anchovy sprinkles would taste good. But sweet Korean BBQ, kimchi, and cheese wrapped up in a tortilla? Call me old-fashioned, but I like my burritos Mexican.
Kogi's bizarre creations only served to confirm my theory: fusion food will never work. Sure, there are some exceptions to the rule, like tempura ice cream or jambalaya pasta. But when you clash two completely different flavors together, like cheese in Asian dishes or Sriracha-Tapatio cheesecake, you're just creating a recipe for disaster. Like my prom night.
Haters keep on hating.
